HOW THE LIGHT GETS IN
The following is the first of four outtakes and is a stand-alone and not an alternate story line to SAME PAGE so please remember it has no bearing on the plot of the original story.
It is, however, a direct spin-off, and thus, the page from where the deviation occurs is noted below.
The outtake hasn’t been professionally edited.
All mistakes are my own!
I apologize in advance!
BACKGROUND of the WHAT Ifs
Though, How The Light Gets In started as original fiction (approximately one-third written) I lacked the courage to finish it and submit it to a publisher.
With the encouragement of a friend, I uploaded the first 7-7.5K, split over three chapters, to an amateur author site specializing in fanfiction with the idea of testing the waters.
The enthusiastic response it received encouraged me to keep updating, however, readers became frustrated with the ‘slow burn’ of the story, and so to keep them distracted, I wrote the WHAT IFs.
They proved invaluable to me as I’d never written a love scene prior to them. I wanted to be able to do Liam and Jaxon justice and so through the outtakes I was able to ‘practice’ before having to do the ‘real thing’ in SAME PAGE.
I hope you enjoy my ‘practicing!’
OUTTAKE # 1
Commences from Page 1
WHAT IF LIAM DIDN’T LEAVE THE OPENING NIGHT OF HIS EXHIBITION?
It’s only been half an hour, and already I’m itching to leave. God, how I hate opening nights. Well, my openings. I hated being the focus of attention. Give me the background or sidelines any day. I looked down at my blue shirt and cursed myself for my choice. Should have gone with the black, Lassiter. You stand out like a bleedin’ parakeet in this blue shirt.
Hiding at the edge of the crowd, trying in vain to blend in, I noticed a buzz go through the room. It was amusing to watch as backs were straightened, ties adjusted, skirts smoothed over lush hips, and hands either patted down or fluffed up artfully coiffed hair. I scanned the room looking for the reason.
Ah, of course, the star guest Garrett was so excited about. Hollywood heartthrob, Jaxon Moncrieff, had decided to grace us with his presence after all.
My artistic eye couldn’t help but admire his physical beauty. He was taller than I expected, perhaps only an inch or so shorter than myself, with broad shoulders and long lean muscles. He wore his wheat blond hair a little longer than was fashionable, and its waves and curls framed his handsome face attractively. My eyes were drawn to his lips, which were a pretty pink and currently curved up in a smile that revealed a barely-there dimple on his cheek. Cute. The almost-dimple combined with the faintly golden hue of his skin and blond waves of his hair gave him a distinctly angelic look.
I bet his eyes are blue. They’d have to be bloody blue.
He’d dressed simply and casually in a pair of dark jeans, white shirt, and tan leather jacket. He wore them well, with the confidence of a man comfortable in his own skin.
I continued to study him as Garrett greeted him and the petite raven-haired woman who’d accompanied him, watching as he gave them the guided tour of my exhibition.
You really are very pretty, Mr. Moncrieff. Pity you’re straight. I might have let myself fall off the wagon for you had you been into guys.
I shook my head at myself. I wasn’t much for casual hook-ups, but it had been months, and my body was craving the touch of another man.
I saw Garrett scanning the crowd and knew he was looking for me, but the thought of performing like a circus animal for our star guest had me cringing into the back corner behind a small group of patrons in an effort to conceal myself.
Garrett had no sooner left them to their own devices when a brunette in a very short black cocktail dress sidled up to him, pushing herself so close as to be almost touching him with her ample breasts. It didn’t seem to bother him, though. The raven-haired pixie maneuvered him away only for him to be waylaid by a small curvaceous blonde. The guy was lapping it up as one woman after another flirted with him, giving him coy looks and fluttering their eyelashes at him. It made me feel ill how they obviously gushed over him.
He’s just a man, people. He pisses, farts, and probably scratches his arse, same as the rest of us.
God, how I hated the obsession society seemed to have with a pretty face and celebrity. My fascination with him dwindled with each interaction he had with members of the crowd.
He’s just another shallow, vain sleaze bag who probably spends far too much time in front of a mirror.
I took a sip of my red wine and lowered my gaze to my feet, wondering how much longer I would have to endure my opening before I could politely make my escape.
A sensation of heat flowed over and through me as I continued to look at the ground before me. It was as if I was on a stage and someone had turned the spotlight on me.
I slowly raised my eyes and just about took a step backward; such was the intensity of the stare Jaxon Moncrieff was directing toward me. His look did not so much cover me, as devour me. Never had I seen such naked, hungry desire in a person’s eyes before.
It angered me, making me feel like an object, a slab of meat. What the fuck? Am I coated in chocolate and cream like some ruddy French pastry?
Arrogantly, I quirked an eyebrow at him before rudely turning my back on him. Garrett would probably rip me a new arsehole later for my bad manners, but at that precise moment, I couldn’t have cared less.
I wasn’t surprised to see he didn’t take the hint. People like him never did.
I was so tempted to tell him exactly what I thought of him but decided that the wiser choice would be to retreat rather than to confront the guy for his blatant clothes-stripping stares. I closed my eyes briefly, drawing in a steadying breath, before I turned and walked away from him without uttering so much as a word.
And still he wouldn’t take the hint.
“So, what do you think?” he asked as he sidled up beside me. The smile plastered across his face would have looked right at home on the cover of GQ magazine.
“I think you’re a very popular man and that just about every woman here would love to have you exercise your charms on them. Not to mention a handful of men who’d probably be equally interested,” I replied coolly, but for Garrett’s sake, I kept my voice polite.
I felt my anger rising, and I couldn’t stop the scowl that crept across my features as he continued to stare at me as if I was some tasty morsel he’d like to feast on.
“I’m flattered…” he began, and I could scarcely believe my eyes when he looked up at me flirtatiously through his lashes.
I thought you were supposed to be straight, Moncrieff!
“Don’t be,” I interrupted dismissively with a wave of my arm. I also noticed the lady in the corner, over there, has either recently become single or has been stood up by her date, as she has that somewhat lost look that comes from being abandoned and not quite knowing why. And that man,” he said, indicating a short man across the room with a graceful wave of his arm, “the one with the ridiculous bow tie, is here with the lady who is pregnant, yet he can’t seem to take his eyes off that tall redhead by the drinks table. I could go on, but I think you get the point.”
I tried again to dismiss him by turning my back on him, but he acted true to form, and ignored my not so subtle rejections. I stared blindly at one of my artworks, not even registering which one it was, as he once again drew to my side.
“What do you think about the artist and his work?” he asked coyly as he rested his hand on my forearm. A warm buzz ran up my arm and spread across my chest as soon as his hand made contact with my skin. It took me by surprise, and I couldn’t help jerking my arm away from his touch as if it had burned me.
What the hell was that? And what the fuck is a straight bleeding movie star doing flirting with me?
Belatedly, I realized I was falling into my old bad habit of biting my bottom lip, and made a conscious effort to release my grip, running my tongue over it to ease the bite.
The idiot doesn’t even realize I’m the artist! I knew I was being a bit harsh on that score, after all, I hadn’t introduced myself, but I was too pissed off to really care if I was being unfair.
Turning to face him, I tried to be courteous and smile, but I knew I was failing miserably. “I think he’s intelligent, observant, and insightful. So much so that he’s highly unlikely to fall for the charms of a player such as yourself. Good evening, Mr. Moncrieff.”
I made to walk away when his hand snaked out to grasp my arm again. The buzz that ran up my arm and through my body brought me to an immediate halt.
What the fuck is that?
“Please stay. Please don’t go!”
Something in his voice made me look at him more closely. His eyes were indeed blue, sapphire blue, and currently pleading with me.
“I’m sorry. I’m so sorry if I’ve offended you in any way, but… God… Please don’t go… I… Jesus… I just need to… talk to you…” he stammered, a blush creeping into his cheeks.
“Why?” I asked. The guy was a riddle. One minute the consummate charmer, the next a stammering idiot.
“I don’t know!” he wailed quietly. “I just do. I saw you and… Fuck! I just couldn’t stay away.”
To say I was surprised by his honesty was an understatement. Most people weren’t so upfront about their wants, particularly those who lived their lives in the spotlight. Before I could frame a response he continued.
“You’re like a fucking magnet! And when I touch you, I get this weird charge run through me… I’ve never been attracted to a man before…but… but… um… when I look at you… I… Fuck! I want things!”
He shuffled his feet, his hands shoved deep into his pockets. I could see the blush staining his cheeks deepening as he stuttered his words.
“What things do you want?” I asked, more gently now.
“I… I… um… I want to kiss you! And… God! I don’t know!” he exclaimed, his distress obvious.
“Do you want me to touch you, Jaxon?” I asked, keeping my voice low and intimate.
“Yes. God, yes,” he whispered, raising his eyes to mine. The naked need and desire in his gaze went straight to my cock.
“Would you like me to kiss you, Pretty Boy?” I could hear my growing desire reflected in my voice.
“Yes,” he breathed, staring at my lips.
“Perhaps I should get down on my knees and pull out your beautiful cock. Maybe, I should wrap my lips around it and suck it dry. Right here. Right now. In front of all these good people. We could call it performance art. Would you try to stop me, Jaxon?”
His whimper made my dick twitch.
“Is your cock as gorgeous as the rest of you, Pretty Boy?” I whispered, leaning in so close my lips skimmed over the shell of his ear. I inwardly smiled at his gasp.
“How about we go find out? Follow me.”
Without checking to see if he was, indeed, following me, I headed for the discretely placed door that led to the storeroom and Garrett’s office. I glanced around the room once, making sure no one was watching, before I opened the door and stepped into a narrow corridor. Jaxon was right behind me. With a flick of my wrist, I locked us in. I didn’t want an audience for what I was about to do to the famous Mr. Moncrieff.
I led the way down the short narrow corridor, and as tempting as it was to use Garrett’s office, I did the right thing and opened the door on the left that belonged to the storeroom. He trailed so closely behind me, I could feel his panting breaths on the back of my neck.
Grabbing his hand, I felt the strange buzz run up my arm. I ignored it as I led him to the back of the room. Dropping his hand, I circled him, my head cocked to one side. His chest was heaving, his body visibly shaking.
“Sure you want to do this, Pretty Boy?” I whispered, leaning in to run my tongue up the side of his neck. His shudder made my dick ache to be released from the confines of my jeans.
“Yes. Dear Lord, yes!” he panted.
“Mmm, you taste good, Jaxon,” I breathed against his skin as I kissed and licked my away across his throat, pausing to suck his Adam’s apple into my mouth. My lips and tongue were the only things touching his body, but my hands were itching to join the party.
He whimpered, and I smiled against his throat. I moved to stand behind him, close enough that he would feel my body heat, but not quite touching. Leaning forward, I trailed my tongue up the nape of his neck before blowing on it softly, and once again, a shudder ran through him.
“You really are quite beautiful, Jaxon. I bet your dick is as pretty as the rest of you,” I whispered huskily while making my way to his other side to lavish it with moist kisses and licks. And still I hadn’t touched him with my hands.
He was quivering with need, his erection bulging against the confines of his pants.
“Mmm, looks to me like he wants to come out and play. Can’t be nice for him to be cooped up in that tight dark place. Do you want me to let him out, Pretty Boy?” I breathed, leaning in to lick the shell of his ear.
“Yes, please. God, yes!” he moaned, swaying toward me.
“Ooh goody, I do so like to play,” I teased, chuckling quietly.
Moving to face him, I held his gaze with mine as I undid his shirt one button at a time. I took my time, watching as he quivered and blinked. His breaths came in short gasps, his chest rising and falling rapidly. I deliberately didn’t allow my fingers to come into contact with his skin. Once his shirt was open, revealing a sliver of his chest and abdomen, I pressed my index finger against his slightly parted lips. I was pleased when, without hesitation, he drew my finger in, sucking on it greedily.
“Mmm, thank you, Jaxon. Your tongue feels like velvet,” I told him huskily, smiling at him. Withdrawing my finger from his mouth, I dragged it over his lips and down his chin before slowly trailing it all the way to the waistband of his jeans.
“Jesus… Oh, Jesus!” he groaned, his gaze never leaving mine.
I wouldn’t release his gaze as I unbuttoned him then lowered his zipper. Teasingly, I ran the tips of my fingers along the hem of his briefs before skimming them over his hardness.
“Mmm, yes, someone definitely wants to come out and play.” I murmured, smirking at him. His cock swelled even further under my touch.
With a featherlight touch, I reached into his briefs and freed his engorged dick. It slapped softly against his abdomen. I cupped his balls in one hand whilst grasping his shaft with the other, giving him a gentle squeeze and stroke. His head lolled back, exposing his throat to me and a deep groan escaped his lips. Leaning forward, I couldn’t resist sucking on his Adam’s apple again. Christ, but he was beautiful.
I was finding it hard to remain patient. My own cock ached for attention, and I was hungry for the taste him on my tongue.
Releasing his cock, I grasped both his briefs and jeans in my hands and slowly lowered them and myself at the same time, feeling him quiver in anticipation. The whole journey south I planted damp kisses down his chest and abdomen, stopping mere millimeters short of the engorged head of his penis as it hovered over his belly, his pants now pooled at his feet.
“Fuck me! You have the prettiest damn cock I’ve ever seen!” I rasped, looking up at him through my lashes. My mouth watered at the thought of wrapping my lips around him. His answering groan made my dick protest even more strenuously at being confined in my, now, way too tight trousers.
Using only my tongue to touch him, I ran a line from his balls up to the tip of his cock while using my hands to unbutton and lower the zipper of my own jeans, pulling my aching dick free. His hips jerked and I chuckled softly.
“Mmm, that’s better. See how excited you’ve got me, Pretty Boy?” I growled softly.
“Oh, God!” he gasped, his hips moving of their own volition toward my waiting mouth.
I repeated the lick from balls to tip, blowing a soft breath on his shaft. “Do you want me to suck your dick, Jaxon?”
“Please, oh God, please,” he whimpered and the raw sound of his need went straight to my own cock.
“I want you to look at me, Pretty Boy. I want you to look at me while I suck your beautiful dick.”
“Yes, oh fuck, yes. Please, Liam, please stop teasing me. Please suck me,” he begged.
The sound of my name on his lips caused more blood to rush to my aching member.
Almost tenderly, I placed a kiss on the very tip of his engorged head, before swirling my tongue around it again and again. Jaxon moaned and panted, and the sound was music to my ears. Man, he tasted good.
With my elbows, I encouraged him to widen his stance as far as his jeans clad ankles would allow. With one hand on his arse to hold him to me and the other cupping and rolling his balls, I widened my mouth to take more of his length in. I felt, rather than heard, Jaxon’s gasp as his hips bucked into my face.
“Fuck! Oh, Jesus… Aagh!” he cried, his hands now in my hair, tugging gently.
I sucked, nibbled and licked, bringing him to the brink only to ease off.
“You enjoying this, Pretty Boy? You like your cock in my mouth?” I demanded to know as I pumped his saliva coated shaft.
“Yes! Fuck, yes! Your mouth feels so goddamn good!” he gasped, his gaze burning into mine.
I quickly moistened my fingers in my mouth before returning my lips to his beautiful dick.
I sucked him so hard this time he mewled like a baby. Using my moistened fingers, I stroked his perineum before moving to circle his puckered hole.
“Yes! Oh God yes, yes, yes!” he cried, his groin bucking erratically into my hungry mouth.
As I felt his climax rise in him, I gently pressed my finger into his quivering hole, sparking his orgasm to crest, the first wave of his seed gushing into my mouth. I pushed my finger in to the hilt, and pressed against his prostrate, encouraging his juice to pulse in waves down my throat.
“Fuck! Liam! Oh, Liam, fuck!” he screamed, and I was glad that Garrett had soundproofed this room or the whole gallery would have been witness to his pleasure.
I continued to suck him until I’d milked his rod dry. Placing one last kiss on the crown of his gorgeous cock, I rose just in time to catch him as he collapsed into my arms, his head falling forward to rest on my shoulder. Cautiously, so as not to send us both toppling over, I shuffled him backward until the backs of his knees hit an old wooden dining chair. He collapsed onto it, his breath still coming in heaving pants.
“Jesus, that was… Fuck, I have no words for what that was!” he gasped.
I chuckled feeling more than a little proud of my efforts. Leaving them speechless was always good.
“Well, Pretty Boy, we aim to please. Now ordinarily good manners would dictate that you return the favor, but I’m going to let you off today.”
My cock protested at my words.
“I’ve never…” he trailed off, blushing.
“I know, and that’s why I’m letting you off. I’m not in the mood for giving lessons this evening. I do, however, want to get off.”
“Um, okay, what do you want me to do?” he asked, staring at my leaking cock, and fuck me if he didn’t look hungry.
I took a step back and began to slowly unbutton my shirt. He licked his lips, his gaze moving to my chest, and I could scarcely believe it but his cock began to twitch and swell. Impressive. The guy recovered quickly.
Toeing off my shoes, I shoved them to one side before I shimmied out of my jeans and boxers. Picking up my jeans, I rummaged in the pockets extracting the condom and a couple of sachets of lube I knew were in one of them. Jaxon’s eyes widened and he looked at my cock, swallowing noisily.
“Don’t look so nervous, Pretty Boy. I’m not going to fuck that sweet, tight arse of yours tonight, as tempting as it is. You, however, are going to fuck mine.”
I couldn’t help smirking at the way his cock immediately twitched and pulsed at my words.
“Mmm, I think your pretty dick likes that idea. What about you, do you like that idea, Jaxon?” I asked him, my voice husky with my own need.
“Yes,” he whispered, his gaze once again glued to my throbbing rod, “Yes, I want to fuck your ass.”
“Good, ‘cause I want that pretty dick of yours to be buried balls deep inside me.” My voice was hoarse with desire.
“Oh, fuck!” he moaned, his hand moving to stroke his rapidly hardening length.
I tossed him the condom, watching as he sheathed himself. Lord, he looked sexy with his hand on his cock, his pants pooled at his ankles and his shirt giving me a peep show of his chest. My inner voice screamed at me that I didn’t bottom for casual hook-ups, but I ignored it. I wanted that pretty cock in my arse. I threw him one packet of lube, then opened the second one, liberally coating my own fingers.
He watched me as I walked over to him, his gaze heated, his chest rising and falling with his heavy breaths. I bent over him, placing my lips where his neck met his shoulder. With one hand on the frame of the chair to steady myself, and my legs planted on either side of his, I reached back and prepared myself, knowing he could see what I was doing over my shoulder.
He groaned, and I continued to bite and lick his throat and collarbone until I had myself stretched and ready.
Straightening, I looked down into his eyes and whispered, “Ready, Pretty Boy?”
“Yes, God, so ready. I want you so bad!” he whispered back.
My inner voice screamed some more, but I continued to ignore it as I moved slightly forward and bent my knees, hovering with my needy hole just brushing against the engorged head of his dick.
He moaned, “Please, oh please, Liam, don’t tease me!”
As I lowered myself to take the crown of his cock into my arse, I broke my second rule for casual sex. Never before had I allowed myself to have chest-to-chest sex with a pick-up. I’d always manipulated the situation to take them from behind.
Jaxon’s head rolled back and a long continuous groan escaped him, matching the groan that slipped from my lips as his dick breached my outer muscle.
“Tight, you are so fucking tight!” he gasped. He went to place his hands on my hips, but I stopped him.
“Grip the sides of the seat and don’t move them until I tell you,” I ordered him.
I was panting as I lowered myself inch by inch down his incredible dick. God, he felt good inside me. At last, I was seated on his lap, his cock fully embedded inside me. Jaxon trembled under the strain of keeping his hips still.
“So good. Fuck, Liam, you feel so good,” he panted.
“You like it, Pretty Boy? You like having your cock up my arse?”
“Yes, oh God, yes. I love having my cock in your ass!” he cried, pressing his forehead into my chest as he moaned.
Holding the back of the chair for leverage, I raised myself until only the head of his dick remained lodged in my channel. I paused, “You sure, Jaxon, are you sure you want your cock in my tight arse?”
‘Yes, fuck! I want to fuck your sweet ass. Please, Liam. Please let me fuck you!” he begged.
I slammed myself back down, loving the way he threw his head back and groaned wantonly. Setting a punishing pace, I rode his beautiful dick, never allowing his hands to leave the grip they had on the seat despite his pleas.
“Your pretty dick feels so good in my arse, Jaxon!” I moaned at him.
“Please! Please let me touch you!” he wailed.
I couldn’t deny him any longer. “Yes! Yes! Touch me, touch my cock!” I cried as I chased my orgasm.
His hand wrapped around my precum slickened dick and all it took was half a dozen strokes, and I exploded over us both.
“Oh God! Beautiful. You’re so beautiful!” he yelled as my sphincter spasmed around his dick. Grasping my hips, he thrust himself into me, his own rod erupting. I clenched my muscles rhythmically to milk his cock of every last drop.
“Liam, fuck! Oh god, Liam!” he shuddered against me.
And then I broke my third and final rule for casual sex.
I kissed him.
I cupped his face and thrust my tongue deep into his mouth, swallowing his moans and pants. His tongue tangled with mine, and he tasted sweet. So goddamn sweet. He wrapped his arms around me, pressing our bodies together. We kissed as if it were our last moments on earth. As if I were the desert, and he the rain.
Slowly, we came down from our high, and as we did the enormity of what I’d done hit me.
I’d broken all of my rules.
Every single fucking one.
And, for a straight guy who was probably leaving the country in a day or two.
What was I thinking?
I eased myself off him, aware of him watching me with heavy-lidded, sated eyes as I relieved him of the condom, throwing it in garbage bin in the corner. With slow deliberate movements, I dressed myself, not really knowing what to say or do. My heart grew heavy at his silence, and my confidence seeped out of me. Was he regretting it already?
“Thanks, Pretty Boy,” I said softly as I turned toward the door.
“What? Wait! That can’t be it! You can’t just leave… I have to see you again.” The anxiety in his voice made me whirl around to face him.
He was standing with his pants still puddled around his ankles, his shirt opened to reveal his chest, his hair in disarray and his cock limp and sated between his thighs. On anyone else it might have looked slightly ridiculous. On Jaxon, it looked sexy.
“Yes, I do,” he said softly, extending his hand toward me.